Are Goddess Circles the new wine night? How to host an enriching ceremony that leads to more nourishing & honest relationships.
An easy to implement roadmap to hosting your first circle by this weekend.
The global pandemic has left many of us feeling isolated, lonely, and stressed. This 101 guide can help you reconnect with loved ones in a deeper fashion than ever before. Not being able to see our favorite people for such long periods of time has led to strained friendships. When we do finally get back together sometimes it can feel awkward, distant, or surface level. Goddess circles, also commonly referred to as sisterhood circles or full moon circles, are great ways to invite more ritual & ceremony into our busy lives. Below I have outlined the steps I use to create a successful event. Feel free to take what you want and leave the rest, there are no hard and fast rules here. Don't worry about ‘mistakes’, have fun, and laugh!
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Step 1: Facilitating A Safe Space
Who will you invite?
A crucial aspect of planning your circle is who will be in attendance. When thinking of the group you will gather, here are some questions you might ask yourself. Would they be non judgemental when exploring something new together? Could they have fun partaking in an event most would consider ‘woo woo’?
I seek out people who can go with the flow and genuinely enjoy themselves. They don't need to meet each and every criteria but overall look for people in your life who are open minded and kind hearted.
Since this requires a high level of vulnerability it is necessary for everyone involved to be considerate and respectful of others. This will aid us later on when it comes to active participation and honest communication. We want everyone to feel accepted and included, so go ahead and think about how the participants would mesh together as a whole. It is not necessary for everyone to know each other, as we will cover introductions later on in the process, but make sure there are no glaring conflicts within the group.
Where to find your people?
The most obvious people to invite are close friends and/or family members. But you can look towards broader groups you are a part of as well, be it professional, religious, or any club activities you partake in. Due to the wonders of the internet, you can even connect with virtual friends via social media or online groups. One such resource I have found useful is meetup.com.
How to get people excited
Great, now we know who we are going to invite. You can choose to make physical invitations, evites, or just simply shoot a text message. At this point we will want to set expectations so people are aware of what all is entailed. Go ahead and give them a brief overview about your circle. You’ll want to tell them the when and where of the circle as well as any other logistical info. Make sure to indicate the dress code, which can be anything from loungewear to goddess couture! I would suggest guests bring a journal to write in and a meaningful object to place on the altar. Depending on the rituals you decide to do, you may ask them to bring craft supplies, food or drink.
The importance of connection.
When your guests arrive, allot social time before the circle starts. If you are planning on having food or drinks this would be a good time for that. Let people settle in and get comfortable since for most what's to come will be a new experience. Chatter away!
Authentic introductions.
When people introduce themselves, they usually start with their name followed by either their job title or relation to others. “I’m an accountant.” “I’m a mom of three” etc. Ask everyone to introduce themselves to the group (even if you all have known each other for years) without the above two factors. Introduce yourself with adjectives that describe you, your hobbies, your values, or something funny. Feel free to be boastful, try not to be self deprecating.
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Step 2: Ambiance Building Essentials
Where will this take place?
You can host the circle physically or virtually. For virtual circles, zoom would most likely be your best bet. For meeting up in person you have a number of options. Based on seasonality, here are some of my favorite places to host a gathering. In spring, go to a nearby metropark for a walk/hike on the trails, set up your circle on a hilltop. In summer, head towards a body of water, a creek you can tip your feet in, a pond, lake, or ocean! In fall, consider having a bonfire, this is perfect for the many fire rituals we discuss in step 7. Finally, during winter months there's nothing better than being cozied up at home, go ahead and set up your circle right in the middle of the living room.
Setting the scene.
We will be going outside of our comfort zone so let's make sure our physical space is inviting. Think about refreshments and music. Since circles are typically done on the floor, you may want blankets or cushions to sit on. Feel free to take a look at my pinterest board for some inspiration.
How to make an Alter
In the center of the circle I suggest you put together some sort of altar. This does not have to be fancy. Be creative, use candles, crystals, flowers, statues, photographs, singing bowls, drums, oracle cards, tarot cards etc. No need to spend a fortune here, just items you have on hand should be good .
When should I host my event?
Many circles take place during a full moon, new moon, waxing moon or waning moon. These periods are good for new beginnings, setting intentions, and renewal. Take a look at which cosmic events are taking place on which days. These can fall in the middle of the week though when people may be unavailable, so don't think you have to adhere to these dates strictly. Just pick the date that works best for the group and go from there.
Picking a theme
A theme will help you with the outline & flow of your ceremony. Pick something you enjoy and that is relevant to the group.
Download my free list of ceremony themes here.
Step 3: Opening The Ceremony
How do we start?
To start, go ahead and outline the flow of events so that everyone knows what to expect. Here is a little snip it of some things I usually like to mention.
“Welcome to the (insert your theme name) Circle: This is a safe space to find peace, unity, and love. Where we honor mother earth, divine feminine energy, and the sacred wisdom within ourselves. Here we will harvest kindness to each other and especially yourself. We will celebrate each other through meditation, movement, ritual, art, and other thoughtful expressions. This is all about women coming together to share, to be heard, and to connect. In hopes that this will bring forth an ability to let go, heal, and learn. A place to secure release whether that be through laughter or tears. To act as a catalyst of spiritual expansion into your high consciousness. All we ask is that you please join us here with an open heart and an open mind.”
Let's get moving and grooving
Next up we want to introduce some type of movement. This will help everyone get the nervous energy and giggles out of their system. A short yoga sequence or a quick dance party are perfect. Since most of our time is spent up in our minds, take this time to reconnect and sink into your body.
Celestial happenings
Fill your friends in on what type of moon we are seeing. Is it a pink moon, a hunter's moon, and what does that mean? Additionally you can look into the planet alignments and see how that stands to affect us. As always if this doesn't resonate with you then feel free to omit but I find it a good practice for setting the tone.
Be here with us
Now that all of us are sitting in a circle, we can take this time to include others who will be joining us in spirit. Invite your spirit guides into the circle, ask for your ancestors to sit with you. Invoke the directions and elements if you so desire. Here is a simple example of how to phrase such requests.
Spirits of the south, powers of fire, you who rule courage and strength bless us with compassionate hearts, we invite you to join our circle.
Sacred ancestors, we open ourselves to your energies and ask to share in your power. Fill us with benevolence and fuel our healing.
We also call upon our spirit guides to hold space for the work ahead, may we always trust our innate intuition.
Why are we here?
Take time to introduce the theme you choose and what you hope everyone gets out of the ceremony. Sometimes it can help to talk about an accompanying chakra to focus on.
For example if your theme is Manifesting Your Dream Life, then maybe your group will participate in meditations and rituals that focus on new beginnings, shifting realities, and raising your energetic vibrations.
During journaling and group sharing they will gain freedom from limiting beliefs and receive clarity on their purpose & passions.
Afterwards they will leave feeling more expansive, confident, motivated and excited for the transformation ahead.
The solar plexus is the chakra governs manifesting. It is the 3rd chakra and associated with the color yellow. It is located just below your chest, in between the sacral and heart chakras.
Step 4: Meditation
Quiet the mind.
Meditation is a necessary step in the process. It will help everyone get in the right headspace by clearing out the clutter.
Which type of meditation do you suggest?
There are many types of meditation you can do. For instance, guided meditations, silent meditations, or music meditations. Try to connect the meditation back to your theme to encourage relevant mindset shifts. Say your theme was Manifestation then you’d want your meditation to encompass ideas of vibration, frequency, and visualization.
Where to find them
You can find thousands of meditations on youtube, spotify and other apps. Choose one on your device and let it play out loud through a speaker. Or if you are feeling brave you can lead the meditation yourself! Let it come from the heart or have it written out for yourself, either way will be beautiful. Let pertinent affirmations or mantras shine through.
Simple meditations add ons
Grounding exercises are some of my favorites. They allow you to activate all of your senses. You can use the following script. Silently name 5 things you see. Next, think of 4 things you can feel. Three things you can hear. Two things you can smell. And finally, one thing you can taste.
Another great meditation add on is energy work. Invite everyone to place their hands together and rub their hands back and forth, you can do this as vigorously as you’d like but we’ll be doing this for about 4 minutes so if you need to slow down that’s fine but just keep some sort of contact all the way through. Go ahead and keep your hands in motion but slightly pull them apart and feel the energy you’ve create between them. You may feel the push or pull, go ahead, and play with that energy a bit. And then take that energy you created and place it where you most need it. Maybe that’s on your heart, or maybe you have some pain somewhere that you’d like to share this energy with. Breath into that area. Feel the warmth that energy brought.
Metta is an Indian word meaning friendliness, good will, and positive energy toward others. The practice is also known as loving-kindness meditation, and its purpose is to cultivate kindness for all beings, including yourself and your loved ones. You can choose from a multitude of phrases for whatever speaks to you most. Here are a few I like.
May I be peaceful, may I be free from suffering, may I be awakened to the light of my true nature. Next, replace the ‘I’ with a person in the circles name, continue on until you’ve gone through each person. Finish off by adding ‘all beings’, may all beings be peaceful, may all beings be free from suffering, may all beings be awakened to the light of their true nature.
Exit the meditation stage
Take your group gently out of the meditation, speak softly so as not to jar them. If you were using an audio guided meditation, close that down and invite everyone to slowly open their eyes. Keep the glorious energy, feelings, emotions they cultivate through meditation and flow into our next task, contemplative journaling.
Step 5: Going Deeper with Reflective Journaling
Keep it simple.
Now it’s time to get our thoughts out on paper. This isn’t the time for full grammatically correct sentences, just let your thoughts flow. You can even write in a mindmap style, simply jotting down key words, phrases or ideas that come to mind. Make sure it is clear to the group that it is by no means necessary to share what they write. I would suggest picking one of the four following areas to focus on so that the journaling doesn't become too overwhelming for one sitting.
Ponder prompts
Provide your group with 1 or 2 journaling prompts as a jumping off point, this will keep the topic focused and make group sharing more coherent. Again consider your theme. These probing questions may bring up truths that we’ve been afraid to admit to ourselves. If you would like, you could also read a passage from a book or spiritual text to encourage reflection as well.
Uncover limiting beliefs.
Another possibility is to include shadow work. There is plenty of information out there for beginners. The first step in tackling these limiting beliefs is having the awareness that they exist, so we want to hone in on our self inquiry skills. Shadow work can deal with issues such as imposter syndrome, forgiveness, overcommitment, people pleasing, and worthiness.
Envision your life
Take some time to celebrate our achievements. List achievements you’re proud of or things you like about yourself as a person. From here we can envision what we want our future life to look like. Once you have clarity it is easier to set goals for growth and take intentional aligned action towards them. Encourage them to write their own affirmations.
Embody your values
Define & prioritize your values; creativity, family, freedom, generosity, health, happiness, independence, love etc. Then go ahead and think of a word that could help guide you throughout the year in regards to those categories. Do you crave more authenticity, more balance, more bravery? Do you want to soar, expand, or enjoy? Your word could even be a simple yet resounding YES! This word can always change but for now ask your intuition what feels right.
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Step 6: Fostering Wholehearted Connection
What does group sharing entail?
Now is the time to come together and connect more deeply than ever before. The three most common fears stem from variations of I might not be seen, I might not be in control, or I might not be right. See if any of those ring true for the group members. Talk about personal troubles, worries, doubts, resentments, or insecurities in a safe supportive environment. This exercise is usually very cathartic, there may be laughter, there may be tears. People can build on top of each other's stories with their own parallel feelings.
How to listen
It is important to fully listen to each person, resist the urge to offer up solutions. Most people just want to feel truly heard and validated in their emotions & reactions. It is during these precious moments, when I’ve felt most connected. You are surrounded by others who are equally as vulnerable as you, something we often forget amidst the facade of social media. If it feels natural, you may want to offer a different perspective on something shared. Suggest a reframing of the issue at hand in a tender loving manor. If you have nothing to say, a hug or hand hold is often the best medicine.
Looking forward
Share the guiding words or life values you picked during journaling time. What do those values mean to you, how will that word help inspire them go forth. What is their vision for the days/weeks/months ahead? Are they looking for more peace, acceptance, fulfillment, grace, ease, alignment. If you did a visualization meditation, what did they see? Do they really believe they can achieve that or is there a deeper limiting belief standing in their way.
An attitude of gratitude
Let's inject this circle with some delight. Things can get quite heavy during the beginning parts of group sharing. As we transition to ritual let's remind ourselves what we have to be grateful for. Have circle members shout them out. Health, sunshine, fresh air, summer approaching, family, friends, pets.
Compliment circle
Ah what a joy this practice brings. A compliment circle is exactly what it sounds like. Have one member stand in the middle and each person of the group will give them a compliment. You can give the group a few moments to jot down some thoughts in their notebooks if it's a large circle. Another option is to have each person simply compliment the person to their left. Try to avoid compliments about appearances if you can, instead speak on their personality, skills, or talents. When giving a compliment, say their name, look in their eyes, and be sincere. When accepting a compliment say thank you, do not deflect it.
Step 7: The Secret To Effective Rituals
All about rituals
A ritual is a series of actions we perform with a specific end goal in mind. We can make anything a ritual with the correct intent. Many of the rituals listed below have been inspired by spiritual events I’ve attended, but you can find a plethora of options online or in spell books etc.
Element Fire
Pass out tiny pieces of paper and ask people to write down what they came to the circle to let go of. Fold up the paper and throw them into the fire.
If you do not have a fire pit, use sparklers and ‘write’ in the air with them.
Element Air
For air it's nice to dive into breathwork, focus on your breath like never before. Connect the mind, body and spirit.
Wishing papers are one of my favorite magical delights. Write your wish on the paper, roll it into a cylinder, light it on fire and watch it float up in the air.
Element Earth
Construct a flower mandala. Ask each circle guest to bring a bushel of flowers, they can be store bought or forested from the wild. Together you will make a mandala pattern with the mix of flowers, petals, stems, everyone brought along.
Give each participate a piece of twine. Have them think of a cord they want to cut in their lives, something they no longer wish to be tethered to. As a physical manifestation of that go ahead and cut the cord with scissors. Feel that weight lift off your shoulders. It is done.
Element Water
Get a fishbowl or clear vase and fill it with water. Into the water add crystals, petals, essential oil drops, salt. Add baking soda to alkalize the water. Pass out tiny pieces of paper for people to write out what they wish to release. Fold up the paper and toss into the water bowl. This is very similar to the fire ritual but indoor safe.
Write down a word you want to embody. Take the letters of that word and isolate them into their separate parts. Use these shapes to create a sigil. Draw this symbol daily until it manifests or whenever you need to feel its power.
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Step 8: Metaphysical Crafting
Creating
Doing an art project of sorts is a nice way to commemorate the ceremony through creative expression. Here are some of my favorite DIY crafts.
Vision Boards, Smudge Bundles, Crystal Wrapped Jewelry, Fairy Gardens, Macrame Dream Catchers, Candles, Mists, Infused Oils, Bath Salts, Scrubs, or Pressed Flowers.
Infusing
Whilst creating, practice infusing your intentions into the object. It will serve as a reminder of the feelings you felt in the circle and the revelations you had.
Recommendations
While everyone is crafting, I like to shift the conversation to any recommendations people have for books, podcasts, playlists, or inspiring stories, poems they’ve come across.
Wrapping up
While wrapping up the circle, check in with the group to see if this is something they would like to do again. Brainstorm if you’d like to do them on a regular or as needed basis. Switch up who hosts, and the rituals, crafts, & activities you do.
Hugs from the heart
Ending your stress cycle requires a mix of physical activity, breathwork, affection, laughter, positive social interaction, a good cry, creative expression, meditation or gratitude. We should have touched on most of these throughout the circle and you should be feeling pretty good. If you feel comfortable I would end the ceremony with long genuine hugs.
Now it’s your turn to get out there and give it a go! Remember to enjoy yourself.
If you are not convinced your friends would be up for an event like this, then I invite you to join our community to get involved that way.
Thank you for being here today. Please leave a comment with you spirituality goals below!
